Snowy dreary days make me do this...

Ahh..today and yesterday at work have been extremely slow. I love that I am getting more hours, but was this really what I signed up for? Sitting at a window for 8+ hours a day and possibly only helping a handful of people? Ehh.. I really shouldn't be complaining. I have been using this time to better myself and my position at work so that is a bonus, but today I feel like I have nothing to do. I have asked for things to do, and I have gotten them all done... before 11. Luckily I have the tomorrow off. What are my plans? Well I have a doctors appointment and then my sister Robin and I are planning on getting together when she is done with work...oh man am I happy to have a day off.

Lately I have been really hard on myself for being pregnant. My body is going through so many changes that it is really hard to wrap my head around everything. I feel like the negative images in my head are overtaking me as a person. It doesn't surprise me too much due to the fact that I have always had low self-esteem. However I feel like I have really pushed away Austin because I am feeling so insecure. He always lets me know that he thinks that I am beautiful and I love him for it, but with the state of mind that I have been in lately I feel like it's a huge joke. I can only imagine from the way things have been going on in my head that I am going to experience post-partum depression. Ugh... I hope not. I just can't wait to feel like myself again.

I really want my blonde back too. Tomorrow I have an appointment and I am going to find out if I can color my hair. Because if I can I will. I'm done with this transition period.. Oh everything I want right now is so far away from me.

So the theme today of this blog... like many others... stuck.