Life, it's a four letter word, really it is.

Ugh, stress is always so hard to deal with, especially when life decides to pile on your plate when you didn't even have room for more anyway. What's even harder to deal with, accepting the fact that some things must come to an end, whether it be freedom, some dreams or even a friendship. Times are very tough right now and I do not, may I repeat do not, expect anybody to understand everything that I am going through, especially those who I know for a fact have no clue. It's hard to have to juggle 2 jobs and be a full time student all while trying to manage a civil life at home and with Austin. As well as with recent events in my life, exhausting to even begin to think about how we are going to pull through. What's worse is that I have even stumbled across others trying to make things even harder. It's not fair, and they have no room to talk. This is a very stressful time in my life, and adding something as silly as twisting "friendly conversations" into lies so that people have something to talk about because they have nothing going on in their life is way too much for me to handle right now. I can't believe some people, and Austin has repeatedly told me to just ignore it. Maybe it's the emotional state of mind that I am in, but stuff like that is hard to ignore. Life isn't easy, and right now it's the hardest its been in a long while.

Due to me constantly stressing about how others are viewing me and my life and the misunderstanding of it all, I started to lash out at Austin, though some of what I may have said stands, I do feel bad about my approach. Fortunately, I am lucky to have somebody that I can be completely 100% honest to and know that at the end of the day, it is all that really matters. I would never think of biting tongue so that I explode, whenever I have something that I am worried about, upset about or excited about, he is my number one go to person to talk to. I am glad that I can do that. I have grown a lot through all of my past relationships and this is the first one and only one that I can see, that I have been nothing but honest and we have been able to work things out. A lesson that some people should learn, but who am I to judge or make smart remarks, I have been in untrusting relationships before.

So this is me venting, about my life in general. Nothing specific, but I think it really reached a valid point. For those who do decide to read this, whether it was directed at you in some point or not, just sit back and think about what is really important in your life, and try not to talk so much about mine. Let me live with everything that I have to deal with, because you have a lot on your plate too and you have no place here.

As for a lighter note, searching to figure out how to save as much money as I can to make sure that come 4/24/2011 I can put my best foot forward in the next chapter in our lives.