New Life

So as of last monday, I am officially back to work. It's definitely an adjustment trying to juggle getting ready in the morning and making sure Austin gets his sleep and Lucia and Elle Louise get fed and I get to work on time. So far, so good.. I hope I didn't just jinx myself. But yes, I am back to work and it feels wierd. I feel like when I am not with her, a big void fills my day. It definitely makes for my work days to feel much longer than they should feel. My brain is so scrambled too... like right now... my sentences are short and pointless. But then again, my blog is pretty pointless to those who read it :)

Coming back to work has been and will continue to be quite the chaotic mess. We are constantly short staffed, which by now you would think that we would be used to it, but it makes for a really long and difficult day sometimes. I am considering applying for an open position at my branch, but I am completely torn. My mindset is constantly on Lucia, plus people here dislike what they are doing from time to time, making me not want that position because I would have to do what they are doing. I could just suck it up and do it because we need the financials that come along with taking this position, but at the same time is it worth my waking up and dreading to go to work because I will hate my job? It's a pickle indeed, and one that I am just not sure if I want to bite into at this time. My review is coming up today (actually in 15 minutes..i'm on lunch) and it will be brought up. My hopes when I got back was to start looking into some sort of Marketing position, or internship or something... but because our staff is getting cut back down again come end of July beginning of August, I feel obligated to help out and once again put my wants on hold. Who knows... maybe by sticking it out and getting further on my floor, I can grow into something bigger on the second floor... move up, literally.
All I know is that I have to make sure that I am taking my new family into consideration when I make my decisions... and I am the only person to say what goes and what doesn't in my future career....

That said, with this whole job situation in a "limbo" so to speak, I am reconsidering moving to Austin, TX. I want to move out of state, but I don't think I am ready to move that far yet. Right now, after reflecting on a budget plan, moving out of state isn't something that will be happening in the near future. With daycare being something we don't have to pay for, I would hate to move away from it. I think I would like to try Minnesota, there are a lot of opportunities up there and Austin already has some friends up there. People to know is always a good thing when you are moving far away from home, especially out of state for the first time. I want to get myself situated in a career that will get me further in life, instead of job hopping. I want nice things to come home to and I want a nice life for Lucia. I think that moving super far away from where I am at right now isn't going to provide that for me and my family. Maybe it sounds materialistic, but honestly... I want to make the best memories and look like we are doing well.. look and be financially stable. I want to prove that my life is getting better and better... and sitting still :)